8th of Aug

The entire world seems to be waiting for Aug 8^th. China is; I know this for a fact. And my friends too. No it’s not the Olympics no. We are hardly bothered about sporting events in which India doesn’t return home a winner. India winning a bronze is made such a big deal of, but does any one give a damn? No! Bring cricket to Olympics then we ll show some interest .

Anyway my point is Aug 8^th seems to have become such an important date and everyone’s waiting for it. Seriously I never knew reopen date of college would seem to be of so much significance. It must be, cos my friends keep chanting it! Strange, isn’t it? We are on our vacations and all we can’t think of is our college reopening day. Come to think of it, we didn’t even bother to check when the college is gonna start again when our exams got over! And now all we want is our college to reopen. Do we really so badly want to get back to college? I don’t think so. Heck, who would want to sit in the same old classes pointlessly staring at same old lecturers and doing the same old thing with the same old question in our minds – What the hell is happening? NO one! I can already see myself on first day of new sem sitting in the class yawning just five minutes into the class. I can also see my friends groaning and moaning because the semester has quite literally KICK started. The whole point of waiting for college to reopen seems pointless. So then why so much fuss about getting back to college? As I was talking to my friends all we want to do is come to college, sit in the canteen, chat with friends, go out and then go home. Yeah, that’s fun right?! Anyone reading this would be nodding vigorously now .

But this brings a thought- are we so very fickle minded? When it is college we want holidays, when it is holidays we want college. Again, no, I don’t think so. Basically the thing is we are BORED; we are so bloody bored of everything and anything. We are bored of college, bored of classes, labs, internals, certainly bored of exams (!), and now vacations too! What do we actually want then? This, I do not know. Still trying to find an answer.

Anyway what point am I trying to drive home? I do not know this either! Confused souls – That s what we are. Yea. But that’s not something we were born as, that’s what we have been reduced to.

Cli-ché

How many movies have we come across in our lives which have the same scenes, same lines and same situations? Many would be the unanimous answer. I have tried to bring out some of them in this post. Hope you enjoy reading them as much as you would dread watching them

“Rukh jao, yeh shaadi nahi ho sakti!”

Marriages and Hindi movies make an inseparable combination. In fact, I may even exaggerate that Hindi cinema is married to marriages. And the drama that comes along – it is the dahej. Marriages are the most common and most over-used scenes in Bollywood. The grand sets, Manish Malhotra costumes, song-and-dance sequences – everything are part and parcel of marriages. And of course the drama! Indeed, our heroines are the most self sacrificing creatures on earth. Our heroine loves someone but is marrying someone else. Why? Inherent drama you see! Of course she has to end up with our beloved hero. How?

1) She realizes on the day of her marriage that she loves him to death and cannot live without him.

2) Or the other guy realizes how much our heroine loves our hero and sacrifices his love for her.

3) Or, our hero uses the “rukh jao…” line and bashes up the other guy (that is the other guy is a meano in this case) and saves (read wins) our heroine.

4) Oh! There could be a divine intervention too… that somehow prevents the marriage from happening… somehow.

All this, ON THE DAY of the marriage!

Well as if marriages were not enough, the airport scenes aren’t any far behind. Again, our dukhyaari heroine is going out of country – most of the times to Amarika. That too in broad daylight! Why? Because our hero doesn’t reciprocate her love/her mean father wants her to stay away from our hero. Of course our hero does realize her love for him and dashes towards the airport only to be confronted with huge traffic jams or some gunda whom he had beaten up centuries ago. What the gunda was doing all these days no one wonders! Or, he could get caught for breaking the traffic rules. Really, our police become alert only on such situations! But, the policeman turns a Samaritan and helps our hero make it to the airport just in time. Of course the hurdles don’t just end there. He has to wade to the security, plead them with the “Yeh meri zindagi ka sawaal hai” dialogue and finally after some more drama wins the heroine. Finally! That would be our sentiments too. Only, it would be because the movie has finally come to an end.

Even Jaane tu ya jaane na wasn’t spared of this airport drama. Hey c’mon, it was fun! You may say. I’d say sure but I have just one question to ask. In this world of technology, why the hell did he not simply make a phone call to her instead of running around like crazy? That too when she carried a phone and I m quite sure our airports are well equipped with phone booths. (No offence, I liked the movie too, but then… I can never stop getting critical. )

Next in line are the hospitals/doctors/patients – usually less mocked but equally cliché. “Mubarak ho! Aapki beti maa ban ne waali hai”. Rings the bell? Our Hindi cinema doctors are most intelligent. They come with just a stethoscope and a doctor’s kit but can tell if the woman is pregnant just by checking her pulse!

Other common lines include those from patient’s kith like “Doctor saab, mere bete ko bacha lijiye doctor saab *weeping**begging**pleading*”, or “Aap operation ki tayyari shuru kijiye doctor saab, main paison ka intezam kardunga”; or from a doctor who removes his spectacles and starts “Mere professional career mein maine aise kahi cases dekhe hai jaha pe mareez…”, or “Humne apni poori koshish ki hai, ab sab uparwale ke haath mein hai”.

But I would say the crown goes to the most ripped (and then raped) scene used by majority of serials and movies alike – Our heroine brings a bleeding, unconscious hero to the hospital, who apparently got into this state trying to save our heroine (cliché, did we say?); the doctor comes in and says “Dekhiye, yeh pulis (police) ka maamla hai. Jab tak pulis nahi aa jaati hum kuch nahi kar sakte”; and the heroine holds his collar/begs him/convinces him – somehow our hero gets operated. Next, the father and grandmother (yes, all rich Hindi heroes have grandmothers) of our hero come running along tensed and the doctor assures them –“Ghabrane ki koi baat nahi aapka bta bilkul teekh hai, aap jab chaahe use ghar le jaa sakte hai” (He is shown in the ICU the previous minute and the very next minute he is alright and ready to be sent home!) The father gets all thankful with the usual “Main aapka shukriya ada kaise karu doctor saab?” and the doc says, “Shukriyada karma hi hai to is ladki ka kijiye jisne naa hi sahi waqt pe aapke bete ko yaha leke aayi balki mujhe mera farz bhi yaad diladiya.” Of course our heroine wins the heart of the grandmother who hugs her, kisses her etc etc and then they all jump to a song-and-dance like one happy family.

Well, I could go on and on and on and write a book! But! Just when you think this is the end of my blog – it’s my turn to get cliché – wait for the sequel

Past 3 weeks of my Life

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One week before exams

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“Hey! What you doing? Started studying? ”

“Nah, not yet. No mood! I ve been watching movies since morning How about you?”

“Ya, started with SE. Finished one chapter. Its too horrible! So much is there to study!”

**Oh crap! I should start now!**

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“Hey what you doing?”

“Doing SE ya. It just doesn’t move forward. Beligge inda 3^rd chapter itkondidini innu mugdilve! Yesterday I did one chapter in CG. What about you?”

“Haven’t started anything yet. Btw got my message about the placements dates?”

“Ya got it. No time to think of placements now. First exam mugili”

“I m not bothered about exams. I m more worried about placements. They are more important.”

“Ya! But dear! You need to clear your exams as well!”

**Ya ya right!**

“Anyway start studying. There s not enough time left!”

**Hmmmmm… Do the most dreaded thing… Well no other choice!**

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“How are you studying for CG?”

“How andre?”

“I mean which book? Local or prescribed?”

“I have both I ll do from both I guess. Depends. Haven’t decided yet.”

“I m finding prescribed too difficult to read.”

“Well, it is easy but you can go for local also. No prob”

**Man! Now I should “start looking” for VTU book!**

“Hey do you have CG local book?”

“Yup I do ”

“Fine then, I m anyway coming to college tomorrow, I ll take it from you and get it xeroxed.”

“Ya sure but why college?”

“Combined SHtudying No, actually I need to learn SSM. Dunno even a single problem in it!”

**true engineering student! 5 days before exam you get a textbook xeroxed!**

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“So, done with SE?”

“Ayyo kelbeda! From past 2 days I ve done just 3 pages! At this rate I ll need 6 months to study only SE!”

“Me too! I did half a chapter yesterday and got so excited I did so much that I didn’t study anything for the rest of the day!”

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“Aren’t you getting scared?!”

“Actually, I m not!!”

“Even me! And that’s scaring me; the fact that I m not getting scared!”

“Oho! Bhaya aagtilla antha bhaya aagtide! Idu olle chennagide!”

“Yaaa!!!”

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During exams

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“Hey eshtaaythe?”

“Innu I have to do last two units. What about you?”

**That’s it?!! Man! I have DONE 2 units so far!**

“I just started kane! Innu tumba ide madakke”

“Don’t worry! You will do, there s still time. I still have to do so much.”

**Really?!!**

“Ley, you said last chapter!”

“Ya, but I thought I ll do 6^th question as well”

“Huh! 6^th question! Naanilli 100 marks cover maado ashtralle saakagide neen 6^th question antidyalle!”

“Hey nange bhari 100ge madakke bhaya kane adakke!”

**Faint…. Almost**

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“Hey how much did you finish?”

“I have no idea! No idea how much I ve done, how much is remaining and no idea if I remember anything I ve done!”

“Me too in the same state!”

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“How was it?”

“Okk” “So-so” “Parvagilla” “Not good” “Too bad” “Wrote for 80” “75…”

“Eno I ve written for 90 but I should see how much I ll get”

“Che I had left this one part! Ide barbekitta! Che!”

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*****After SE*****

“How was it?”

“I ll pass!” “Yay! Pass aagthini!”

“I hope I pass”

“Abba! Pass aadre saaku”

“Paper was not good… just hoping to pass…”

“SE is over! Its almost as if exams are over!”

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*****After CN*****

“How was it?”

“It was too horrible”

“Such a horrible paper” “worst ever”

“What is this? Not a single expected question!”

“Couldn’t even write 3 questions properly”

“I hope I clear this one…”

“I m going to flunk… No, I m telling you… I m going to flunk”

“I ve written for just 50. and I have no idea what-so-ever what all I have written”

“I don’t know what will happen… L L”

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*****After the last exam*****

“How was it?”

“Ok” “Good”

“I don’t care, the exams are over!!”

“Abbaa!! Finally! Exams are over!”

“Hey we have completed our 3^rd year of engineering! Just one more to go! Our sixth sem is over!”

“Ah well… not quite! I can never be sure of it until I get my results ”

“Ya! You are right!”

“VTU is going to become malamal!”

“Hows that?”

“They ll make crores from our reval fees for SE and CN!!”

“:D:D:D:D” “Hahaha! So true!”

“Don’t think will get even FCD this time…”

“I don’t care… right now – exams are over! That’s it!”

P.S.:

1. I ve made a collection of these snippets because exams have been revolving around my life (or is it the other way round? Either ways it has the same effect) for the past 3 weeks and all conversations with friends have had repeated usages of the above mentioned lot. So when I came out of my exams and sat to write something all I could think of is these!

2. The language is kept simple because obviously we don’t use big words in our day-to-day conversation.

3. I ve used colloquial language because I felt it would make it more natural.

4. Names of the subjects may not be understandable by one and all. But I don’t think that should affect the reading in anyway

5. To all my college friends – if any of you feel being a part of any of the above conversations then let me tell you – you are