This post technically deserves to be called “Experience of a lifetime”, the title of my first post as it WAS a once-in-lifetime experience. I mean I always wanted to make movies, be there and do this and that, but the whole experience of learning and also unlearning stuff was amazing.

The beginning, the spook and the shock

So this is how everything fell into place. We have a movie-making team in office; they call us for auditions, in fact select most of us from the auditions and form us into teams and ask us to make a 1 minute film. So we all come up with stories, share it with our team members, discuss. One story however catches all our attention just for the spookiness in it. We all decide to go ahead with that story (though I express my doubts that it might not fit in a minute, we are nevertheless very excited as the genre is different and difficult to attempt). However, the guy who wrote the story, Ankit is missing. None of us have ever seen him before! (It just added to the whole spookiness thing!). So anyways, the rest of us decide to attempt story boarding it. Biswa comes up with one first, and it looks really good. So we decide to make him the director and revisit the shots. Next problem (actually I realize now that others didn’t really think this was a problem except me!) is the cast. We need two girls. Biswa looks at Nibha and says, ‘I think she can be the spooky one, because she has that look!’ Nibha tries to disagree and look offended but she is shocked to know that everyone unanimously agrees with Biswa! Now comes the real shock. Next Biswa points towards me and he says, ‘I consider her as a very silent and soft person so I think she can play the spooked out one’ Now it is my turn to disagree – not about the soft and silent part (although I could disagree because I m neither soft nor silent!); it is the part where he says act. Again everybody is convinced. I try to tell people ‘Look, I can’t act’ but they just say, ‘Woh to hum dekhlenge’ and the matter is put to rest.

A Wednesday!

Then comes the storyboarding and pre-production part. We sit together in conference rooms, we discuss each shot, house layout (I actually drew Nibha’s house layout like an architect to help them understand better! ) and come up with one draft. Now we go to the core team. This day deserves to be mentioned! I don’t know the date, but I do remember that it was a Wednesday (I’m sure even Biswa remembers that, despite his memory! ); the day where our heads literally went for a toss. We meet them at 5.30 PM. Prabhu, Animesh and Ravi sit with us through it. Initially they are all excited. In time they turn super excited. And then, in no time they come up with amazing stuff just to add to the spookiness so much so that, Shripriya starts getting goose bumps by just listening to them! We have a whole discussion on whether Nibha’s character is to be interpreted as a ghost or not, the ending gets changed again and again, Nibha’s character gets spookier and spookier and Ravi is convinced that I am THE spooky person in reality, cos I come up with a whole lot of spooky ideas myself and also cos I have a broken cuckoo clock, broken mobile phone, a white dupatta which can be used for hanging oneself and so on! And then eventually more people join in, and along with them come more ideas. Finally at 9 in the night, (Biswa’s eyes were completely red by then BTW! ) Biswa and me just stare at each other trying to recollect everything that happened and what all changes can be effectuated. Biswa just scratches his head and says ‘I have forgotten what our original story was now!’ We then just decide to take it up the next day and make only those changes whatever we really like.

(BTW during this whole time, we do try to rehearse once and Prabhu tells me that I m too theatrical. I am dazed. I try to tell my teammates again that I can’t act! But again, nobody cares. )

‘Dreaded Scene 1’

So we finish the storyboard. By now we are convinced the movie won’t come anywhere close to a minute, but we still decide to go ahead with the shoot. We visit Nibha’s house to do rehearsals. We start with the first scene of the movie where I enter the house looking sad and bored. I enact so badly that I just feel like running away from there! They are baffled when I say I cannot relate to the scene at all as I have never felt lonely! Of course, finally we decide to change the scene because our actress apparently cannot enact a scene where she cant relate to the emotional content of it. (I try to tell people that I am a ‘method actress’ and that I cannot enact something I cant relate to- just because I was acting badly ) The rest of the scenes go fine (bad, but fine when compared to the ‘dreaded scene 1’). At the end of the day, I ask Biswa again if he is still confident that I can do justice to the role. He tells me (in his own sweet, inimitable way) ‘Well you are fine, except for scenes x, y and z. Don’t worry, you are doing it fine’ Some confidence. Back home, I make my brother sit and rehearse, taking tips from him. Another confidence booster.

Rehearsal Day 2

This day goes much better and both me and my diro feel more confident about my ability to act. We still haven’t decided how Nibha’s character dies and what her name is, cos we haven’t found a news paper with an appropriate news item which would help us use in our film. (Probably for the first time in my life, I was annoyed that there was no newspaper article about a girl committing suicide, or getting murdered, for atleast a month! Ironically, the day after we finished the shoot, a newspaper came up with the exact article we had been looking for!)

The D Day

Finally the ‘day’ arrives. I m nervous, excited, super nervous and super excited all at the same time I feel feverish as well. So I reach Nibha’s house and just settle down on the couch saying I have very little energy in me which I wont put to use until the shoot starts. Biswa gets a little worried and I tell him I will be fine. We start hunting for articles again, in vain. Finally we decide to go ahead with an obituary. We set the house, stick Nibha’s photograph in the newspaper and rehearse once again. Its noon by now and the core team is expected any moment. Somehow the excitement takes over and I start feeling better. Just as Biswa starts getting excited on hearing that I m feeling good, Nibha settles down on the bed telling that she is feeling feverish and tired somehow! We ask her to take rest till the core team arrives.

Core team arrives

They come at 5 PM with camera, tripod, lights and all the equipment. We tell them about the first sequence we plan to shoot and they ask us, ‘Have you blocked the shot?’ We are all looking disillusioned wondering what they are talking about. Then Leslie comes up with his quintessential ‘Babaa’ and asks us what the first action is, last action is and tells us to mark the points. We do as told and go for take-1, almost after half an hour. The first time I realize how tough it is to shoot a film. So many logistics! Lights being one of the major ones.  I finish the shot and Muthu raises his hand and says, ‘Ah, one thing, the light isn’t fine on her face and also, I couldn’t see any reaction which was supposed to come from her’ I freeze. My first take of the first shot of my first movie! I get all tense and my hands are cold. Ravi kinda eases me with his jokes and comments. And I get ready for take-2. This time I do it much better and we decide to go with it.

TOW they all clap

Next we shoot the scene where Divya enters her room and slams the door on my face. At the end of take 2, they are all very happy and start clapping! It feels really great. Poor Nibha is very tired as she had to carry the heavy luggage on her shoulders for so long! She goes to sleep and we decide to finish off all the scenes which didn’t have Nibha.

The best scene of the film

We decide to shoot the entry scene of Divya because Nibha is awake by now and feeling better. She had to look like she was drenched in the rain so she goes and pours water all over her with a running temperature of 102! Talk about dedication . This is the scene where I learnt how little things need to be added to make a shot look beautiful. We had earlier decided that I would already be at the door and as the shot starts I just open it. Prabhu suggests that I enter the frame and then open the door with little bit of my head still covering the left part of the frame after I open. Ultimately this scene turned out to be the best scene of the movie.

The deadline

It is 5, next day morning (Monday). Leslie comes to us and says, ‘Look, we haven’t slept for the past 48 hours. You still have 4 more shots to do and it’s already 5. Why don’t you guys wrap up and shoot it tomorrow? It is better not to shoot than do a bad shoot. Think about it and let us know’ We are shocked. We HAVE to finish the shoot no matter what. The reason being, there is a huge cultural event happening in Infy on Tuesday in which movies are being showcased including ours. So technically we have just a day to finish the post production part of it. So postponing the shoot was out of question. We have a talk, decide to discard one shot, request the core team to give us 45 minutes. We start the last leg of the shoot in full swing and finally finish it by 5:45 as promised. They are happy we kept up the promise. By 6:30 everybody leaves as we have to get to office as well in a few hours!

Post production

We sit in Deepak’s room for the editing. It is 4, three teams (including ours) waiting for Prabhu- the man who will help us finish what we have started. We select the best takes of all the shots. It is almost 8 by the time Prabhu becomes free. Me and Shripriya say good bye to them and leave for the day. Next day we talk to Prabhu and he says the editing has been done. They sat till 4 in the night doing the editing! We have a look and all of us get excited, looking forward for the movie to be shown on the big screen.

Show time

They play our movie!!!

In presence of greats like NRN and Kris!!!

AND people love it!!!

A packed audience of over 1000 people watches the movie and applauds! Feels wonderful! (Though they did laugh at a scene where they weren’t supposed to; I don’t blame them!) Friends, other team members, random people come and congratulate me on my acting! I message Nibha telling her what all she is missing and how many people are looking for her. Friends call me and tell me that people leaving the hall were yelling ‘Mamma mera haath jal gaya!’

And that’s a wrap

Our first attempt at making a movie was successful and I am not saying that this was the the most flawless or the best film ever made but  I m super happy to be a part of it!

P.S.: The mystery man Ankit who had been missing all this while finally turned up for our post-movie-success-team-meet, so we could tell that he actually existed!

Link to the movie:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YL3xbYyfOQc

Filmfail is back! And back with a bang as they say. And we are back to celebrate year 2009. 2009, a year which wasn’t really the best for Hindi cinema with very few good releases – which, gives us all the more reason to celebrate

So, lets get the show started

Keeping up with the tradition let us start with the Technical awards

First up in this category is

Best Story –

Nominations are:
Delhi-6 (research is still on as to what the story actually was, but we still give a nomination for the effort)
Chandni Chowk to China (Seeta aur Geeta, Ram aur Shyam and now Sakhi and Suzy)
Aa dekhen zara (a unique story about a unique camera that can capture the future – sad they didn’t use the same camera to see their own future, but still, we appreciate the effort )
Raaz – the mystery continues (the story is still a mystery to me)
Kambakkt Ishq (Supermodel cum doctor! And people say heart attacks have increased!)

And the winner is

Blue
On the way from Europe to India by sea, the ship goes through Bahamas. Period.

Next we have

Best Editing –

The award for Best Editing goes to -

What’s your rashee.
No, no, don’t be mistaken. It is not for the actual editor of the movie, it is for the guy who posted the pirated version of the movie which I watched (yes, I admit it), which was just 2 and a half hours, which was devoid of all the songs and which made the movie bearable.

Coming up next is the award for

Best Choreography –

Naam mera Mango Dolly – Quick gun Murugun.
I mean I loved the movie but to see a busty oversized Rambha sizzle was something I didn’t ask for.

Up next is the award for

Best make up –

And the winner is

Dil bole hadippa
Did you know that the skinny Punjabi guy Veer was actually Rani Mukherji?! I didn’t know that!

Let us now move on to the Music Awards

Since we didn’t have a Best Playback Singer Female category last year, many women’s association raised an objection. So this time we will felicitate only female singers.

Best Playback singer Female –

So, the winner for Best Playback Singer Female is

Alisha Chinai (Bebo mein bebo from Kambakkht Ishq)
I don’t think I need to give an explanation why she gets the award. If you do need one, then please listen to the song once.

Best Lyricist –

The winner is –

Subrat Sinha for Mann ka radio bajne de zara (Radio)

Mann ka radio bajne de zara
Gham ko bhoolkar jee le tu zara
Station koi naya tune karle zara
Fultu attitude de de tu zara

And to top it, it’s in the voice of the wone and wonely Himesh!

Best Music Director –

And the award goes to -

Anu Malik (Kambakkt Ishq)
He comes back after years and years of squalling on the so called upcoming idols of the country and delivers this! I never in my life thought I would say this, but dude, you are better off on TV. (Pun intended)

Lets now move on and welcome new talent.

Most Promising Debutant Male –

Not many new comers did the promising part in the year 2009. However there were a couple of them who promised and promised a LOT! The award for most promising debutant male goes to

Jackey Bhagnani (Kal kisne dekha)

I mean, let’s have a look at the promises. Son of a big shot producer. Widely promoted by the likes of SRK and Abhishek Bachchan. Touted as the teenage dancing sensation. A film that even started with the famed letter ‘K’. A college romance cum action thriller. Shot in beautiful locales. What more promises would you need? Talent? What’s that?!

Most Promising Debutant Female –

And the winner is –

Rani Mukherjee! Don’t be shocked, but then she deserves a new comer award as she came back with a new kamar Ok bad joke I agree, but I’d say, see the movie Dil bole hadippa first, you might actually find my joke funny!

Jokes apart, the award for most promising debutant female goes to

Nausheen Ali Sardar

Haven’t heard of her? She starred in the movie ‘Three- Love, Lies and Betrayal’. Haven’t heard of that either? Well, that’s why she deserves the award

Unfortunately this year we don’t have the category of Best actor in a comic role/negative role cos nobody was as negative or as comic or comically negative to be rewarded.

Anyway, not to be let down by that, let us move on to the next category which is

Best supporting actor (Male/Female)–

We really don’t have a separate award for supporting actor female (women’s federation can take a chill pill) because there is one man who stands out completely.

So the award for Best Supporting Actor goes to

Sohail Khan

This guy is something else man. Every single movie he has acted in the past couple of years has been a supporting role. I say he should be declared as the official supporting actor of Bollywood!

Before we move on to the main section of awards, we have a special award. An award for a person who has made an outstanding contribution to Hindi Cinema. Ladies and gentlemen, next up is the

Lifetime achievement award –

Without much ado, the award goes to

Akshay Kumar

Four BIG budget releases in one year. Two of them touted to bridge the gap between Bollywood and Hollywood. The third, one of the costliest films ever made in Bollywood.
All four of them were considered among the dumbest stories ever! All four of them turned out to be few of the biggest flops of the year. The fifth one, was directed by one of the most noted directors in Hindi Cinema. And needless to say even that movie went for a toss. It is not easy to achieve such a feat in a single year. It makes Kumar all the more worthy of the Lifetime Achievement award. He has had enough flops in a year to last a lifetime.

And now, its time for the main section of awards

First up is the award for

Best director –

The nominations are

Anthony D’souza (Blue)
Rumi Jafrey (Life Partner)
Soham Shah (Luck)
Nikhil Advani (Chandni Chowk to China)
Anurag Singh (Dil bole hadippa)

And the winner is

Sabir Khan (Kambakkht Ishq)

I have a very small message for you Mr. Khan. Next time, whenever in you life you dare to attempt making a movie again, please do consider keeping a story in mind. Trust me, a lot of stories have made wonders. You really don’t need a Sylvester Stallone or Denise Richards or a bikini clad Kareena Kapoor to make the movie run. Certainly not 100 crores.

Next we have the award for

Best film –

Nominations are

Agyaat (the story of the movie is quite true to its name – missing)
Dil bole hadippa (a perfect example of ‘An empty mind is a devil’s workshop’. With lack of money and ideas, this is the max Yashraj could have come up with)
Vaada raha (What? Haven’t heard of the movie? Welcome to filmfail!)
Do knot disturb (a “comedy” about a husband trying to hide his extra marital affairs from his shak se bhari wife – very unusual story, very filmfaily)
Chandni Chowk to China (first hindi film by Warner Bros Pictures. What a pity.)
London Dreams (would have been a major hit if it was made in the 90’s. Bad timing is all I can say)

And the award goes to

Kambakkht Ishq

Similar message as above to the producers. Pleease, for heavens sake, stop bringing Hollywood to Bollywood through such movies. Its high time we saw some maturity in the way we look at cinema.

Coming up the award for the

Best actress –

Well, we don’t have any nominations in this category. There is a straight winner. And it is

Deepika Padukone for Love Aaj Kal

With blank expressions and mugged lines, she has the capability to make any interesting/humorous scene look bland. She pretty well succeeded in it also.

And now, we have the award for

Best actor –

Nominations are:

Akshay Kumar (of course)
Sanjay Dutt (Blue)
Govinda (Life Partner, Do Knot Disturb)

And the winner is

Ajay Devgan for London Dreams

He plays a “rockstar” in the movie!! A rockstar who swirls one hand pointing in the air and jumping from one leg to another singing Barso barso yaaro. I mean, not that he can’t be a rockstar but seriously he did not look like one in the movie. He looked more rockstarry in All the Best.

We have a couple of special awards. A recognition of special talent hidden in the industry. When we look at the grass root level we see that there are so many things worth mentioning but they don’t get their due in the larger scheme of things. However, we at filmfail have always looked for those things and reward them.

The first award in this section is

Best dialogue –

Yea, we have handpicked one particular dialogue out of all the movies of 2009 that really stood out and made a difference.

And the award goes to

What’s your relationship status? It’s complicated. (Radio)

We have a chubby smiling Shehnaaz with battling eye lashes who in a very blondie-ish way quacks, ‘What’s your relationship status?’ And almost immediately, as if in a pre-rehearsed way Himesh turns and replied ‘Its complicated’. AND the producers actually thought, actually thought that they could promote the movie on this line!

Bravery award –

He was last heard in Heyy Baby (2007). After that one really doesn’t remember the movies he made in 2008. In 2009, he had FOUR releases! Yea, if you don’t believe it here’s the list – Jai Veeru, Life Partner, Acid Factory and All the best. If you still haven’t got whom I am talking about, its Fardeen Khan. Remember? It really needs a lot of gut to actually face the camera even though people say on the face that they don’t wanna see you anymore.

Therefore, the Bravery Award goes to –
No not Fardeen Khan but to the filmmakers who actually cast him in their movie! For taking such a risk, you really need to be brave!

Best cameo award –

The award goes to

Irrfan Khan (Billu)

If some of you are still wondering, yes he was a part of the movie. In fact he was the lead and SRK was just a supporting actor (shocking, I know!) He gets this award for being conspicuously absent from the promos. That was quite a cameo.

Best comeback award –

The winner is

Viveik oberoi for Kurbaan
After a dud in 2008 (Mission Istanbul) he came back in 2009 with Kurbaan. And he came back with a very fake anglicized accent. And that, was the most irritating part of the movie.

Best Controversy award –

The nominations for best Controversy award are –
Ashutosh Gowarikar – for bashing up the hosts in an award ceremony for making fun of people from the industry (and the award ceremony I m talking about was not filmfail, just for the record)

Ashutosh Gowarikar – again, for questioning the jury’s decision, in yet another award ceremony (YAAC) for giving the best actress award to Priyanka Chopra when Aishwarya Rai was nominated (for Jodha Akbar)

Kareena Kapoor – for announcing in YAAC that she was hurt Imtiaz Ali did not cast her again in his next movie

Saif Ali Khan – for saying that he was initially offered Kaminey by Vishal Baradwaj and he rejected the offer and later admitting that he had lied!

Akshay Kumar – (how many nominations for this guy!) for making his wife unbutton his pants on the ramp in front of the public eye and hoards and hoards of media ppl!

Shiney Ahuja - for the infamous and now almost forgetten rape case

And the award goes to

Rakhi Sawant!

And she gets this award cos, apart from her swayamwar on TV and the on-off between she and her fiancée she wasn’t really a part of any controversy. That’s an achievement man! So she gets the award. She needs to change her PR big time. Not in news for a long time could be dangerous to her health

And with this, we come to the end of the show. Hope you all had a good time, cos we did. See you guys in 2010. Till then good bye and take care

So many things have happened in the past few months, and have been so fast paced that I wonder if I will be able to write about ALL of them! But to say the least I ll say that I ve been having fun all along

Oh, but I have to mention the trip I had been to, two weeks ago. A place called Kannur in Kerala coastline. Awesome place it was! And the trip too, the perfect break we could ve asked for after a stressful 4 months! I ll give the entire account of the trip some other time, but will just mention that the beach was awesome and we had amazing fun We had booked for a beach house facing Payyambalam beach. It’s a virgin beach of sorts with not many people around, just the thing we wanted – an entire beach just for us. I don’t even have to mention the amount of fun we had. There s a fort and a drive in beach as well (it’s supposedly second largest drive in beach). I would suggest a visit this place atleast once It’s really worth it.

That’s it from me as of now, well what can i say, I have come back!

Year 2008. A year that gave us quite a lot of good films, some of them setting new trends in filmmaking. A year that produced a lot of new comers who made their presence felt in the industry. It was also a year that had many mind blowing movies made by some amazingly talented people but unfortunately they went unrecognized and were unduly criticized. Today we are going to celebrate those underrated movies that duly need to be recognized.

So lets get on with our FILMFAIL Awards 2008!

First up is the Technical Awards.

First award is for Best Story. The nominations are

-Tashan

-Kismet Konnection

-Golmaal Returns

And the award goes to

SINGH IS KINNG

Hats off to the director and writer Anees Bazmi for writing such a heart wrenching story with such amazing comedy. I really wonder how the hell could he have had three consecutive hit movies – No Entry, Welcome and this. Anyways, moving on

We also have a special award for Best Original Story.

The award goes to

GOD TUSSI GREAT HO!

Next is the award for Best Choreography

The award goes to

LUCKY BOY – Bachna Ae Haseeno

Well, I don’t really want to say anything about this so lets just move on.

Award for Best Special Effects

The Winner is

THODA PYAAR THODA MAGIC.

The makers definitely deserve an award for using state-of-the-art graphics and special effects that made an already brilliant movie even more enjoyable.

Award for the Best Background Music

The award goes to

PHOONK

No surprises here. The only thing that tried to scare us was the background score. So they deserve an award for this.

Next, the award for the Best Action

Without much ado, the award goes to

TASHAN

The award is given only for the Akshay Kumar entry scene. Simply the best.

Award for Best Costume Design

We even have nominations for this award. They are

-Thoda Pyaar Thoda Magic (Rani’s costumes)

-Kidnap (For whatever little Minisha wore)

-Love Story 2050 (Only for the aliens, for nothing else)

The award goes to

DRONA!

Well, it had to get one. C’mon, a Super Hero in a Sherwani is such a unique idea! Award-winning idea!

Let us now move on with the Music Awards.

First up is the award for Best Playback Singer.

The award goes to, without any nominations, without any categories of male/female –

HIMESH RESHAMMIYA

Obviously guys, he deserves it! Tandoori Nights, Lut Jau, Hurry Om… oh and the much hyped Ek Haseena Thi – the only song which he apparently hasn’t sung from his nose (which however didn’t sound any different to us) See, he deserves it.

Best Lyrics

The award goes to

ZARA ZARA TOUCH ME TOUCH ME – Race

What stupendous lyrics! Zara zara touch me touch me zara zara kiss me kiss me – Bravo!

Best Music

DRONA

Well, there was competition I must say. But Drona takes away all the glory. Especially that Oop oop cha song takes the credit.

Let us now accolade the new comers who try to make their mark in the previous year.

Most Promising Debutant Male

This is tough. Really tough. So I ve decided we ll have two of them.

The first award goes to (I m sure most of you would ve guessed by now)

HRITHIK ROSHAN –err—I mean—HARMAN BAWEJA

for emulating Hrithik in every which way (except of course acting, unfortunately)

The next award goes to

MIMOH CHAKRABORTY

He deserves one simply because he thinks being Mithun’s son is sufficient to get one. Also for being a part of one of the most forgettable films of the year – Jimmy.

Most Promising Debutant Female

The Winner is

SHRIYA SARAN

Sadly, this damsel was “promised” the most amazing debut in an astonishingly brilliant movie called Mission Istanbul. She gets one simply for her sheer belief that this was going to be her big break in Hindi cinema.

And now, we have a special award. This award is for the most stylish person of 2008. this award is for those actors, who with their wonderful dressing sense, made their style statement.

We call it, The Style Icon 2008

The award goes to

VIDYA BALAN

For giving the world the most incredible style tip. Cut your hair short to make you look younger (I mean thinner). So why exercise, work out and all that hard work to attain size 0, just go chop em off!

Next we have an award for Best Actor in a Comic Role

The award goes to

ASHWINI KALSEKAR – Phoonk

If you haven’t got it, she s the black magic lady who keeps laughing menacingly all through the movie which made us laugh on what we actually were supposed to get scared!

Best Actor in a Negative Role

The winner is

SAIF ALI KHAN - no – AKSHAYEE KHANNA - no – ANIL KAPOOR - no – BIPASHA BASU - no – KATRINA KAIF. Oh God this is so confusing, no one knows who played the negative role! So, lets just give the award to the movie itself – RACE!

Now its time for us to celebrate a filmmaker for his Outstanding Contribution to Indian Cinema. Its time for the Lifetime Achievement award.

And the award goes to

RAM GOPAL VERMA

He so needs this award. So please Mr. RGV, accept this award and start making plans for your retirement. We promise you we will not miss your movies.

Lets move on to the main section.

The first award is for the Best Film.

The nominations are –

-Karzzzz

-God Tussi Great Ho

-Tashan

-Thoda Pyaar Thoda Magic

-Chamku

-Golmaal Returns

And the winner is

ROADSIDE ROMEO

The reasons for giving the award are

-Its produced under Yashraj Banner (and they paid me but that’s not the reason, no)

-Its directed by Jughal Hansraj (this was his last resort – from hero to side hero to cameo to now romeo)

-It is meant for kids (we have a soft corner for such movies you know)

-and finally, it has for its credit the worst opening ever for any Yashraj movies.

So we have to give an award!

Hmm, moving on

Best Director Award

The nominations are

-Anees Bazmi (Singh is Kinng)

-Ganesh Acharya (Money Hai To Honey Hai)

-Vijay Krishna Acharya (Tashan)

-Goldie Behl (Drona)

The award goes to

HARRY BAWEJA for Love Story 2050

He is actually writing a book – How to Launch your (not-so-talented) Son (alternatively called – How to Lose Big Buck). A must buy. And a must award.

Best Actor Female

Nomiantions –

-Rani Mukherjee (Thoda Pyaar Thoda Magic)

-Ayesha Takia (Sunday, De Taali)

-Priyanka Chopra (the list is too long, but 4 flops, 2 hits)

The award goes to

KATRINA KAIF

She simply gets an award for being a part of 4 big budget movies, with two of them being hits (Race and Singh is Kinng), for making more money than any other actress even without acting. Kudos to her. That’s a rare talent really.

And now finally,

Best Actor Male

The nominations are

-Himesh Reshammiya (Karzzz)

-Abhishek Bachchan (Drona)

-Viveik Oberoi (Mission Istanbul)

The Winner is

GOVINDA for Money Hai To Honey Hai.

He apparently plays a 20-something guy in the movie. Now you know why he wins the best actor award right?

Before I sign off, we have a special award this year for the Most Outstanding Blog of the Year. This award was constituted especially because our fraternity has got into this new trend of blogging, and we reward new trends. So, the award for the Most Outstanding Blog of the Year goes to, no surprises here

Aamir Khan and his kutta blog!

And since Aamir doesn’t believe in awards we would like his kutta Shahrukh to receive the award on his behalf.

Its time for me to sign off here. Thank you everyone. See you next year. Chao.

-you learn the name and even the spelling of the director of Ghajini (because that s the concentration you show while watching the promos and also cos of the number of times they are being aired!)

-you start playing games on your cell, something you haven’t done  ever since your bought it

-you start getting new ideas to post on your blog (which has been idle from past six months, when you last had exams)

-you start reading everyone else’ s post (starting from AB to Aamir to a friend you haven spoken to in ages)

-you suddenly realize the importance of the existence of GOD

-you start watching serials and even their reruns

-you start getting radical thoughts on how the whole purpose of having exams is so obsolete and how you could reform the system

-after every half an hour you get a call – from nature!

-you start answering all your customer care calls

-you get more fwds (mostly on exams/VTU/engg) from your friends than ever before!

-and you actually forward those msgs to other friends!

-all your favorite movies start getting aired on every damn channel (and obviously you cant watch them)

-you get emotional and emotionless at the same time

-jan 1^st reminds you of C# (or any other subject relative to your field) and nothing else, not even that s it’s the beginning of the new year

-your working sheet/s turn a master piece; they are filled with your name in every possible font and/or your doodling

-you discover new things about your cell phone, learn all the features and even type msgs in Hindi

-nobody cares to wish you on Christmas!

-even frustration becomes contagious

-you spend more time planning what to study than actually doing it

-your friends freak out when you tell them you updated your blog with a new post

-you get irrational of doubts and actually call up your friend to get them clarified!

-you finally realize its time to shut up and study because your friend doesn’t seem to entertain your doubts

]]> http://kruthikarao.wordpress.com/2008/12/25/you-know-you-are-having-exams-when-%e2%80%93/feed/ 8 kru http://kruthikarao.wordpress.com/2008/08/16/to-madikeri/ http://kruthikarao.wordpress.com/2008/08/16/to-madikeri/#comments Sat, 16 Aug 2008 20:41:06 +0000 kruthikarao http://kruthikarao.wordpress.com/?p=31 ]]>

Before I start off, I would like to thank god, all my stars and who-so-ever does this job of managing (and changing) people’s destinies (mine in particular) and most importantly my mom for letting me go on this trip. I would not even have known what I would be missing otherwise. Oh ya! Even Moni Ok. Now that I m done with my acknowledgments let me get on with my looong account on my ‘trip to Madikeri’. Sorry guys, I know my posts are only getting longer but this one needs all that space. 4 days! It’s been a week now and I m still in a trance!

Anyway we were 13 of us. We were put up in Moni’s uncle’s house in a place  (nice place in that )called Kumbur, about 15 kms from Madikeri. Basically there s a home stay apart from his house and an estate and we were put up there.

DAY 1:

We left on Thursday morning with 6 of us (that’s pai, rady, kar, vinod, soumya n me) joining the rest (moni, radh, sup, kuku, vinyas, rama, suhas) on mysore road. The journey was exhilarating as photo sessions, antakshari’s and (of course) Karthik’s pjs accompanied us. In fact we were very surprised when the driver announced that we ve reached Kushalanagar.

the golden temple

The Golden Buddha Temple, Tibetan Monastery – that was our first place of visit. Those of you who ve been there would know that it’s one of the most beautiful and well maintained temples. Very serene. Though I must say we did our bit in spoiling the serenity We had more photo sessions – some of them memorable (like the dustbin pic, moni and Tibetan lady pic etc )

the 'dustbin pic'! all of us

Next we headed straight towards Monica’s uncle’s home. We spent some time there (with moni showing us around the 70 year old house built by her grand father and not to mention Karthik irritating me with the torch light) before we had our dinner. I cannot help but mention the ‘V’ joke over the dinner table but don’t ask me for more details!

view from our home stay

We then went to our home stay, played cards until the current left us and then Vinod started with his ghost stories. The best one being – a guy who went on a trip with his friends; there was no current so he took a torch to the loo and got scared on seeing his own reflection in the mirror! No points for guessing who the guy was The stories continued till almost 4 when we guys finally slept.

DAY 2:

Our day started a little late, thanks to the rains. We first went to Chiklihole reservoir. (How do you remember Chikli? Simple. Chikli = chikki + chakli! We are masterminds in our own rights!) It’s a very cute place. There s this thing – it’s a depression or whatever it is (see the pic and make a decision yourself); it’s a jaara bande look-alike basically and me and sup badly wanted to slide down through it!

at chiklihole reservoir

From there we went to Madikeri proper, had lunch in Rajdarshan. Reasonable, in taste I mean not in rates! (I m going to forgive them for that disaster called Tomato soup.) After lunch we went to Abbey Falls. The funniest part was sup running away from leeches! Though kuku did get attacked by one. And Abbey falls is sewage water! Fine. Whatever. Next, we went to Omkareshwara temple, Madikeri fort and the museum attached to it and Raja seat. And then back to our home.

Oh btw, did I tell you what rather who gave us company through the journey? Mr. Jaggesh! There was this cd which had some of Jaggu’s best (yea, you read it right – BEST!) scenes from various movies. If anybody ever asked you what’s the height of grossness then here’s my suggestion – give that person a copy of this cd! I swear! For instance, there s a scene where in he happens to come in contact with a woman, and he goes – Touching Touching Touching! . It took us a while to come out of it! Moni is still not out of this I know! Anyway, TTT kind of became the tagline of our trip. Every word uttered from then on had an ‘ing’ added to it and would get repeated three times!

In the night we played dumb charades. This, in my opinion was the highlight of the trip. It was the most fun filled DC I ve been a part of. It was fun to give movie names (I gave some mean ones! Or so they said!;) ), enact them, guess them and most importantly see others enacting them.

DAY 3:

Our day typically started with a phone call waking us up but each one lazy to pick it up! But almost all of us woke up with a start when we heard the time was 9! Again we started late (even the rains added to the delay). We first went to Harangi dam. Next up was lunch at a place called Top in Town hotel. (Seriously I don’t think it can get tackier than this!) Anyway, here s where we made our second mistake/blunder (I would like to exclude myself from the ‘we’ cos I was strictly against it) – we ordered Tomato soup again! This time, all of us! CAUTION: NEVER order for tomato soups anywhere close to Madikeri. Never. And to think tomato soup is the one of the two things with “tomato” attached to it that I eat! (drink whatever) Rest of the food was quite bearable though.

harangi

We then went to Kaveri Nisargadama. Couldn’t do much there cos it was continuously raining. But I must mention the uncle who was so impressed by kuku’s bravery why? Cos she climbed a tree! I think, I think he had a groom-in-the-making son! Hmmm! Who knows?! Right! I did tell kuku to take his number, it might have help any of us if not her; but sad, she didn’t. Lol!

Back in our home stay, radh taught vinyas how to dance. It was kind of cute. Then we all jigged for a while. (Except kar who declared that he was Pappu) Then kar took over and did some amazing imitation of lecturers and friends. Later we played DC again, this time – songs. It was fun but not as great as the previous day.

DAY 4:

The final day of our trip. It took us a while to come to terms with reality. We packed and left our home stay straight to moni’s dad’s estate. It’s a nice place. We had a good walk around the estate. We found a small cute lil tortoise over there. As usual we scared the hell out of the small thing! We even found a snake. It went right in front of us. That’s the closest I ve been to a real snake! After having lunch at a canteen (which was quite good ) we went to KRS dam. We went a little early as the lights were not on yet. Anyway we just had a walk around the fountains, ate jola or should I say, tested the strength of our teeth. (They are strong!) Oh, we (rather rama) even went to the aquarium looking for tiger shark. He was MAJORLY disappointed as the tiger shark was not the kind of tiger sharks he was looking for or something like that.

at KRS

From KRS it was back to our city Bengalooru. We stopped midway for dinner at Indradhanush. Tomato soup WAS good here! But we didn’t order it. You may have had rotis which are rubbery but ever knew that plastic is indeed used to make them? Well we had a first hand experience! Radh’s roti had a plastic piece in it! She took time to digest the very fact, forget the roti!

And then, it came to an end. 4 days of fun came to an end. We came back to our respective habitats. But those four days were amazing! As I said I m yet to come out of it! Well, this is the least I could write. I would love to go on and on but in the interest of humanity (that is assuming that people who read this are all humans ) I would like to sign off here

Anyway my point is Aug 8^th seems to have become such an important date and everyone’s waiting for it. Seriously I never knew reopen date of college would seem to be of so much significance. It must be, cos my friends keep chanting it! Strange, isn’t it? We are on our vacations and all we can’t think of is our college reopening day. Come to think of it, we didn’t even bother to check when the college is gonna start again when our exams got over! And now all we want is our college to reopen. Do we really so badly want to get back to college? I don’t think so. Heck, who would want to sit in the same old classes pointlessly staring at same old lecturers and doing the same old thing with the same old question in our minds – What the hell is happening? NO one! I can already see myself on first day of new sem sitting in the class yawning just five minutes into the class. I can also see my friends groaning and moaning because the semester has quite literally KICK started. The whole point of waiting for college to reopen seems pointless. So then why so much fuss about getting back to college? As I was talking to my friends all we want to do is come to college, sit in the canteen, chat with friends, go out and then go home. Yeah, that’s fun right?! Anyone reading this would be nodding vigorously now .

But this brings a thought- are we so very fickle minded? When it is college we want holidays, when it is holidays we want college. Again, no, I don’t think so. Basically the thing is we are BORED; we are so bloody bored of everything and anything. We are bored of college, bored of classes, labs, internals, certainly bored of exams (!), and now vacations too! What do we actually want then? This, I do not know. Still trying to find an answer.

Anyway what point am I trying to drive home? I do not know this either! Confused souls – That s what we are. Yea. But that’s not something we were born as, that’s what we have been reduced to.

]]> http://kruthikarao.wordpress.com/2008/07/31/8th-of-aug/feed/ 4 kru http://kruthikarao.wordpress.com/2008/07/28/cli-che/ http://kruthikarao.wordpress.com/2008/07/28/cli-che/#comments Mon, 28 Jul 2008 17:49:40 +0000 kruthikarao http://kruthikarao.wordpress.com/?p=11 ]]> How many movies have we come across in our lives which have the same scenes, same lines and same situations? Many would be the unanimous answer. I have tried to bring out some of them in this post. Hope you enjoy reading them as much as you would dread watching them

“Rukh jao, yeh shaadi nahi ho sakti!”

Marriages and Hindi movies make an inseparable combination. In fact, I may even exaggerate that Hindi cinema is married to marriages. And the drama that comes along – it is the dahej. Marriages are the most common and most over-used scenes in Bollywood. The grand sets, Manish Malhotra costumes, song-and-dance sequences – everything are part and parcel of marriages. And of course the drama! Indeed, our heroines are the most self sacrificing creatures on earth. Our heroine loves someone but is marrying someone else. Why? Inherent drama you see! Of course she has to end up with our beloved hero. How?

1) She realizes on the day of her marriage that she loves him to death and cannot live without him.

2) Or the other guy realizes how much our heroine loves our hero and sacrifices his love for her.

3) Or, our hero uses the “rukh jao…” line and bashes up the other guy (that is the other guy is a meano in this case) and saves (read wins) our heroine.

4) Oh! There could be a divine intervention too… that somehow prevents the marriage from happening… somehow.

All this, ON THE DAY of the marriage!

Well as if marriages were not enough, the airport scenes aren’t any far behind. Again, our dukhyaari heroine is going out of country – most of the times to Amarika. That too in broad daylight! Why? Because our hero doesn’t reciprocate her love/her mean father wants her to stay away from our hero. Of course our hero does realize her love for him and dashes towards the airport only to be confronted with huge traffic jams or some gunda whom he had beaten up centuries ago. What the gunda was doing all these days no one wonders! Or, he could get caught for breaking the traffic rules. Really, our police become alert only on such situations! But, the policeman turns a Samaritan and helps our hero make it to the airport just in time. Of course the hurdles don’t just end there. He has to wade to the security, plead them with the “Yeh meri zindagi ka sawaal hai” dialogue and finally after some more drama wins the heroine. Finally! That would be our sentiments too. Only, it would be because the movie has finally come to an end.

Even Jaane tu ya jaane na wasn’t spared of this airport drama. Hey c’mon, it was fun! You may say. I’d say sure but I have just one question to ask. In this world of technology, why the hell did he not simply make a phone call to her instead of running around like crazy? That too when she carried a phone and I m quite sure our airports are well equipped with phone booths. (No offence, I liked the movie too, but then… I can never stop getting critical. )

Next in line are the hospitals/doctors/patients – usually less mocked but equally cliché. “Mubarak ho! Aapki beti maa ban ne waali hai”. Rings the bell? Our Hindi cinema doctors are most intelligent. They come with just a stethoscope and a doctor’s kit but can tell if the woman is pregnant just by checking her pulse!

Other common lines include those from patient’s kith like “Doctor saab, mere bete ko bacha lijiye doctor saab *weeping**begging**pleading*”, or “Aap operation ki tayyari shuru kijiye doctor saab, main paison ka intezam kardunga”; or from a doctor who removes his spectacles and starts “Mere professional career mein maine aise kahi cases dekhe hai jaha pe mareez…”, or “Humne apni poori koshish ki hai, ab sab uparwale ke haath mein hai”.

But I would say the crown goes to the most ripped (and then raped) scene used by majority of serials and movies alike – Our heroine brings a bleeding, unconscious hero to the hospital, who apparently got into this state trying to save our heroine (cliché, did we say?); the doctor comes in and says “Dekhiye, yeh pulis (police) ka maamla hai. Jab tak pulis nahi aa jaati hum kuch nahi kar sakte”; and the heroine holds his collar/begs him/convinces him – somehow our hero gets operated. Next, the father and grandmother (yes, all rich Hindi heroes have grandmothers) of our hero come running along tensed and the doctor assures them –“Ghabrane ki koi baat nahi aapka bta bilkul teekh hai, aap jab chaahe use ghar le jaa sakte hai” (He is shown in the ICU the previous minute and the very next minute he is alright and ready to be sent home!) The father gets all thankful with the usual “Main aapka shukriya ada kaise karu doctor saab?” and the doc says, “Shukriyada karma hi hai to is ladki ka kijiye jisne naa hi sahi waqt pe aapke bete ko yaha leke aayi balki mujhe mera farz bhi yaad diladiya.” Of course our heroine wins the heart of the grandmother who hugs her, kisses her etc etc and then they all jump to a song-and-dance like one happy family.

Well, I could go on and on and on and write a book! But! Just when you think this is the end of my blog – it’s my turn to get cliché – wait for the sequel

]]> http://kruthikarao.wordpress.com/2008/07/28/cli-che/feed/ 7 kru http://kruthikarao.wordpress.com/2008/07/04/9/ http://kruthikarao.wordpress.com/2008/07/04/9/#comments Fri, 04 Jul 2008 20:49:30 +0000 kruthikarao http://kruthikarao.wordpress.com/?p=9 ]]>

************************************************

One week before exams

************************************************

“Hey! What you doing? Started studying? ”

“Nah, not yet. No mood! I ve been watching movies since morning How about you?”

“Ya, started with SE. Finished one chapter. Its too horrible! So much is there to study!”

“Hey what you doing?”

“Doing SE ya. It just doesn’t move forward. Beligge inda 3^rd chapter itkondidini innu mugdilve! Yesterday I did one chapter in CG. What about you?”

“Haven’t started anything yet. Btw got my message about the placements dates?”

“Ya got it. No time to think of placements now. First exam mugili”

“I m not bothered about exams. I m more worried about placements. They are more important.”

“Ya! But dear! You need to clear your exams as well!”

**Ya ya right!**

“Anyway start studying. There s not enough time left!”

“How are you studying for CG?”

“How andre?”

“I mean which book? Local or prescribed?”

“I have both I ll do from both I guess. Depends. Haven’t decided yet.”

“I m finding prescribed too difficult to read.”

“Well, it is easy but you can go for local also. No prob”

**Man! Now I should “start looking” for VTU book!**

“Hey do you have CG local book?”

“Yup I do ”

“Fine then, I m anyway coming to college tomorrow, I ll take it from you and get it xeroxed.”

“Ya sure but why college?”

“Combined SHtudying No, actually I need to learn SSM. Dunno even a single problem in it!”

“So, done with SE?”

“Ayyo kelbeda! From past 2 days I ve done just 3 pages! At this rate I ll need 6 months to study only SE!”

“Aren’t you getting scared?!”

“Actually, I m not!!”

“Even me! And that’s scaring me; the fact that I m not getting scared!”

“Oho! Bhaya aagtilla antha bhaya aagtide! Idu olle chennagide!”

***********************************************

During exams

***********************************************

“Hey eshtaaythe?”

“Innu I have to do last two units. What about you?”

**That’s it?!! Man! I have DONE 2 units so far!**

“I just started kane! Innu tumba ide madakke”

“Don’t worry! You will do, there s still time. I still have to do so much.”

**Really?!!**

“Ley, you said last chapter!”

“Ya, but I thought I ll do 6^th question as well”

“Huh! 6^th question! Naanilli 100 marks cover maado ashtralle saakagide neen 6^th question antidyalle!”

“Hey nange bhari 100ge madakke bhaya kane adakke!”

“Hey how much did you finish?”

“I have no idea! No idea how much I ve done, how much is remaining and no idea if I remember anything I ve done!”

“How was it?”

“Okk” “So-so” “Parvagilla” “Not good” “Too bad” “Wrote for 80” “75…”

“Eno I ve written for 90 but I should see how much I ll get”

*****After SE*****

“How was it?”

“I ll pass!” “Yay! Pass aagthini!”

“I hope I pass”

“Abba! Pass aadre saaku”

“Paper was not good… just hoping to pass…”

*****After CN*****

“How was it?”

“It was too horrible”

“Such a horrible paper” “worst ever”

“What is this? Not a single expected question!”

“Couldn’t even write 3 questions properly”

“I hope I clear this one…”

“I m going to flunk… No, I m telling you… I m going to flunk”

“I ve written for just 50. and I have no idea what-so-ever what all I have written”

*****After the last exam*****

“How was it?”

“Ok” “Good”

“I don’t care, the exams are over!!”

“Abbaa!! Finally! Exams are over!”

“Hey we have completed our 3^rd year of engineering! Just one more to go! Our sixth sem is over!”

“Ah well… not quite! I can never be sure of it until I get my results ”

“Ya! You are right!”

“VTU is going to become malamal!”

“Hows that?”

“They ll make crores from our reval fees for SE and CN!!”

“:D:D:D:D” “Hahaha! So true!”

“Don’t think will get even FCD this time…”

“I don’t care… right now – exams are over! That’s it!”

P.S.:

1. I ve made a collection of these snippets because exams have been revolving around my life (or is it the other way round? Either ways it has the same effect) for the past 3 weeks and all conversations with friends have had repeated usages of the above mentioned lot. So when I came out of my exams and sat to write something all I could think of is these!

2. The language is kept simple because obviously we don’t use big words in our day-to-day conversation.

3. I ve used colloquial language because I felt it would make it more natural.

4. Names of the subjects may not be understandable by one and all. But I don’t think that should affect the reading in anyway

5. To all my college friends – if any of you feel being a part of any of the above conversations then let me tell you – you are